Monday, February 6, 2017

Marriage - Second Time Around (Part 2)

(Do read Part 1 before reading Part 2.)

It's been 4 years now since I got married for the second time on the 12th of January, 2013. Gosh! 4 years ago too that I posted of my marriage and since then, a lot of things have happened. The good and the bad, happy and the sad, adjustment periods and lots of sacrifices...as normal marriages go of course.

Adjustment period.
Yeah, what is an adjustment period some may ask. It's a period whereby a couple goes through and encounters in the course of being in a marriage. The adjustment period may take between one to two years or maybe even more for some and it all depends on the individual's characters and upbringing as well I suppose. There should be give and take, lots of trust, honesty, patience, respect for each other and a degree of openness between the couple but of course privacy is also of importance.

Speaking from my experience only, (since it's my post in my blog) I can only relate what I went through the last 4 years. Being brought up in a family that takes pride in so many things, there were quite an amount of adjustments to be made when I married into my husband's family. There were many things that I had to close one eye to, so to speak. There were stuff that threw 'protocol' aside where anything can happen and be accepted. Things seemed simplified and there were lots of 'tak kisah' attitudes too..hahaha.

Anyway, I slowly learned to adjust to my new family though still retaining most of what my own family has passed down to me from generation to generation.

Relationship woes (or the lack of it.)
Without giving out too much information and as it should be a secret between a husband and wife, my relationship with my husband has been a very good one, barring of course some periods of time where we will have our disagreements. It's only natural that we should some time not see eye to eye about certain matters but it gets resolved fast. My husband is the type of person that does not take things too much at heart. He prefers to let me 'blow my top' and he remains quiet. Well, that is good cause we don't want two hard headed people going against each other do we? It's better to have one party that gives in most times. Makes for a quite a healthy relationship too in our case...hehe

Anyway, what I can safely say is that my husband and I have a lot in common which made it easy for us going into this marriage. As I stated in my earlier post, my husband is 11 years younger than I am but that has not stopped us from enjoying our married life. My husband's character too has made it easy for me to 'be myself'. I can just do and say things (good ones of course) without having to think twice on how my husband will react. Basically, I am a happy-go-lucky type of person, always cheerful and ever smiling.

I feel blessed too to have a husband who is on very good terms with my 6 children. He acts more like an older brother to them than a step-father actually (my oldest is 29 this year). He calls my boys 'bro'! Hahahaha...now that is funny isn't it? He too makes sure I get to spend time with them whenever possible. Whenever we all meet, I can see my husband sort of stepping back a bit to give me and my kids room to interact and be ourselves. He does not want to seem intrusive too and I respect and love him for that.




Adapting
To be frank, my husband and I come from different social status and socioeconomic backgrounds. We move in different circles and as such we have different sets of friends too. I could actually move around easily in his circle but getting used to and adapting to his family took quite a while for me to do. In all, I managed to overcome a lot of my fears especially on how we could make our marriage work. Being married does not mean we marry that one person only but we marry into the family as well.

There were other things that I had to adapt to as well like the way my husband does stuff, the way he dresses at times...hahaha..yup, he needed tips on how and when to dress appropriately...for the right occasions of course... Lucky for me he speaks English very well too so that is a real bonus...

Patience, lots and lots of it, had to be applied by both of us when dealing with everyday matters too but we somehow managed with lots of give and take. There were things too that should not be taken too seriously but with a pinch of salt.

Hopes and wishes.
Actually, there are lots more that I can say about my marriage second time around but I think, all that I have stated above will suffice. It has been a good, exciting, interesting, awesome, happy, wonderful, fabulous 4 years so far. For this, I would love to thank my loving husband for making the last 4 years very meaningful to me. He has been very understanding, patient, loving and helpful too.

Here's hoping for more and more happy years for us. May Allah bless our marriage, filling it with lots of love, fun and laughter.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Am I ready?

 Yesterday, a friend of mine passed away. She was only 46 and if I might say, still in the prime of her life. She was on life support for 2 days and her loved ones, family and friends never stopped praying for a miracle but Allah knew best. She succumbed to brain aneurysm but not before putting up a fight. May Allah bless her soul and place her among the righteous.

Am I ready to face my creator? Frankly speaking, a big NO! I have so much unfinished business waiting to be completed. So many more things to learn, to equip myself with what's necessary to ensure my final transition goes smoothly, God willing.

Everyday, I think of death. As macabre as it sounds but I do! The more so after I reached half a century on earth 3 years ago. I can just 'go' anytime, anywhere and anyhow. Our lives are fragile and unpredictable. We may seem healthy and strong with no apparent illness or sickness. But when our time is up, we got to go. No two ways about it, no negotiations for extensions. Death knows no age nor boundaries and everything that lives on earth eventually dies.

Everyday after my obligatory prayers, I will ask and seek of Allah, blessings for me and everybody, good health always, among other things. I ask of Him when it's time for me to go, to please take me at the moment He loves me the most. To take me in the best way possible...In shaa Allah.

There's much that can be said on what we can and need to do in our daily lives but suffice for me to ask of everyone to always do good unto others, always have good thoughts and intentions, always have a pure, clean, heart and mind. Always be forgiving, which I know as humans, it can be difficult...(I have problems in that department too)...considering the severity of the situation and circumstances of course. But once you can forgive, you feel a sense of peace enveloping. You bear no grudges for you know Allah is Most Forgiving and Most Merciful.

Instill in ourselves feelings of sympathy, humility, respect, to name a few. Never ever feel we are above everything too because there is a Greater Power out there. Remember too, we are humans with imperfections. With that said, we are allowed to make mistakes and learn from it too.

In short, all the above are purely my thoughts alone and all of you can beg to differ. I wish the best for everyone and wish all the best in life too for all of you. I humbly seek forgiveness and to be forgiven in return.



















Saturday, December 31, 2016

Resolutions, resolutions, resolutions...

Yeah...what are resolutions exactly? For me, resolutions are a set of goals I set for myself to be accomplished, maybe, till the end of the year....haha... The goals varies and of course that which suits my needs, in other words.

I was first introduced to having a new year resolution by my late father when I was in my early teens. He would make me and my other sisters write out our resolutions and read them out to him and my mum! Yup! We had to read our resolutions to him so he would know if we had our priorities straight. Anyway, he gave us each a diary too so that we can keep track of our activities. Initially, we were most diligent in filling up our diaries but as the year progressed, we became lazy and stopped updating our activities altogether...that was till another new year approached...hahahaha

The same can be said for our resolutions too. We would try to complete what we had listed but somewhere through the year, the resolutions took a back seat to other daily stuff. So, for many years now, I have stopped having resolutions. I would just take each day as it comes and try to fulfill whatever hopes and goals that was within reach.

But for this coming new year which is just a few hours away, (I still do not want to have another resolution though), I want to be a better person, spiritually, mentally and physically. I will not set limits for myself on when I need to achieve them. Setting limits would be like tying myself down to something that I may not be able to accomplish. Instead, I will take things slowly in my own pace and in my own time. That way, I would not be disappointing myself unnecessarily.

Well, this is how I see what resolutions are to me. It will of course be different for everyone too, so just be yourself and do what you think is right and best for you.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! May 2017 be good to us. (I've just about had it with what's been happening in 2016. Really an 'annus horriblis'...as what Queen Elizabeth II said in her speech in 1992!)

Am back!

Have not been blogging for quite sometime now and with the advent of 2017, I thought I would start again and this time with a new name, DIANARA'S OWN...

Hopefully, this time, I will get to put across whatever thoughts I have on subjects and issues that I  encounter everyday, be it what I see and read online or those that I personally experience. So, whatever I will be blogging on, it will be solely what I think and therefore, anyone can agree to disagree.

Here's to a more fruitful and interesting 2017. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Tributes to MH370

A tribute to MAS/MH370

MAS our Wings of Gold
Flying people both young and old
One of the best as oft been told
Flying high, strong and bold.

Across the skies making a name
Bringing fortune, bringing fame
One of the best from Southeast Asia
From our beloved country MALAYSIA.

MH370, in a fleet of many
Connecting people from every nook and cranny
Flying people from nation to nation
Offering a service, giving satisfaction

Saturday morning, of you we lost sight
Since then we've searched with all our might
Assistance came from many countries
Aiding in search across the boundaries.

Hoping and waiting for you to be found
We wait patiently with prayers abound
That you land safely on the ground
Your precious cargo, safe and sound.

MH370, PLEASE COME BACK!

~ Lady Dianara Kamil
11.03.14





I have nothing much to say
Only just to hope and pray
That MH370 will soon be found
All aboard, safe and sound....

It's been six days, so much has been said
Speculations and assumptions to be put paid
O Allah we seek your help and guidance
To you we place our hope and reliance...

If it's fated that all have perished
Keep the memories of all that's cherished
We pray for them to rest in peace
The love for them will never cease.

~ LDK
13.03.14


I think it's time we put to rest
The bomoh 'spectacle' done in jest
Let's concentrate on the important issue
Of the ongoing search and rescue.

When we keep on sharing
Things not worth showing or mentioning
Everything goes viral locally
Then it ends up globally.

We are wonderful and awesome Malaysians
Among other Southeast Asians
Noted for our hospitality, warmth and friendliness
Positive traits and characteristics that are boundless.

Let's all keep praying and hoping for the best
And look at all these as Allah's test
A test of our strength, faith and belief
A test that will eventually bring relief.

~ LDK
15.03.14

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Marriage - Second Time Around (Part 1)

Yeah...what is marriage the second time around eh? Don't know if there's anything much I can say for now for it's only been about 3 weeks that I remarried. But what I can say is that it feels good and I am embarking on a new journey somewhat... for in this marriage, I have parents-in-law! In my former marriage, I only had sisters and brothers-in-law and that too, I have known them since childhood.

Anyway, my parents-in-law are very lovely people...down to earth, humble and unimposing...simple people in fact and I am comfortable with them. Of course it takes getting used to calling my father-in-law 'baba' but then, I could...haha...Calling my mother-in-law 'mak' was easier cause I have been doing that since before I got married.

I am married to a wonderful guy 11 years my junior and so far, I don't have any problems with that. The age difference does not bother me at all...the more so with my husband. I still respect and obey him as how a wife should. Me being older too does not mean I have control over everything. So, there's NO question of my husband being 'Queen Controlled' ok?...hahaha...Anyway, there's an understanding between us and we give each other our trust, love and commitment. For any marriage to work, IT TAKES TWO... :)

After over 3 years being single again and now I am married again, I sometimes wonder if I had done the right thing. But what I can say is, everything is in Allah's hands and my life's journey has been mapped since before I was born. So, I am going through a second phase of my life, so to speak and I am embracing it with an open heart and an open mind. Some people have sort of asked me if I know what I'm doing by marrying again. What I can say is that if I did not go through with this, I will never know. With Allah's blessings, I am sure everything will turn out fine and everything goes on as it should.

Since my divorce, I have lived by 'what is meant to be will be'...and I will continue to live by it till I breathe my last breath...

This is all that I can manage for now. I may, in future write more on this topic...that's after I've had a number of years to fall back on...hahaha


(Please look out for Part 2...it's already posted.)

Sunday, August 12, 2012

To forgive and forget?

Try as I may and try as I might, it's not easy at times to forgive people what they have done to me. The severity of the action and deed is just too much to bear and to be forgiven...especially when it's done by your own kin. If it's by others, I don't think I will be bothered too much for they are no ties that bind.

It's been 3 years now...and it's still difficult for me to forget as well what had happened and the ensuing 'events', as how I will put it. I was the victim but I was made to look and deemed otherwise. Tales were carried and spread here and there and people seemed to believe even though they don't know me. All because of the great 'actress' who had convincingly poisoned peoples minds into thinking negatively about me.

How sad can that be? How unimaginable that a kin whom one has always helped when needed can turn 360 degrees! All the lies, dramas and masquerade could have been tailor made for a movie too! How awesome can that be huh?

Only those who really knew me defended me and my honor. They stood up for me and made sure people knew the truth. But then, as some humans are they love to spread untruths and to sensationalise on issues. Oh well, I hope Allah forgives them their sins.

There's one thing that I very much regret though, the one person whom I thought would do or say something to this 'actress', was weak and didn't make a stand on the situation and events that had occurred.

Till I die, I guess I will never ever forget but forgive? Only Allah and yours truly knows. So, up till today, I have not talked to her and neither do I want to, till she apologises and owns up to all the misdeeds in the past....but I see this as unlikely to happen for the charade, on her part, will continue.....

May Allah forgive me my sins towards her, if any and may Allah keep me safe from harm.

Marriage - Second Time Around (Part 2)

(Do read Part 1 before reading Part 2.) It's been 4 years now since I got married for the second time on the 12th of January, 2013. ...