From The Heart

I caught a glimpse of the Velfire as it slowly made it's way up the driveway. A lot of things went through my mind and I felt my heart beating a little faster. We had not met since the day we got divorced and this will be the first time we meet face to face again after a year. I have of course seen him in the news and papers, so I sort of knew what to expect. He however, had not seen me at all.
We had a court hearing this morning to finalise and to register with the Syariah Court, the terms of the divorce pertaining to the division of assets and the custody of the children. This proceeding had to be postponed twice due to the stroke that my ex suffered at the end of last year. And the day finally arrived...today, the 30th of june, 2010.
The Velfire stopped at the porch to 'unload' its' passengers. My ex, our two eldest children and the 'valet of sorts'. He helps my ex with the day to day activities, from helping him dress to accompanying him to the office and appointments.
Due to the stroke, my ex lost the normal functions of his right side, especially his hand and leg. He had to be helped out of the vehicle and his cane was given to him. Though he went for further treatment in Germany a couple of months back, it takes time to heal from a stroke. Hence, he still walks with a limp and uses the cane. When I climbed up the stairs earlier leading to the lobby,it occurred to me that my ex might have a bit of a problem negotiating the stairs and I was right. He had to be assisted and took the stairs one at a time.The sight of him coming up the stairs slowly somewhat pulled at my heartstrings. I never thought I'd ever see him in that situation, having to be assisted and needing extra care and attention. He had lost some weight too and seemed to age a bit. On tv and in the papers, he looked different, and seeing him in the flesh I could sort of see the suffering he had gone through because of the stroke and gone too was the youthful look that used to amaze all that he has ever met.
I walked towards the entourage and our lawyer joined us in the lobby. Pleasantries were exchanged, he looked at me and smiled slightly and I nodded and smiled in return. We made our way up the elevator to the courtroom. After the proceedings were over, all of us made our way to the lifts. While waiting for the lift to arrive, I tried not to look in his direction but I caught him looking at me. Hmmm...he must have been thinking would he ever find another wife like me perhaps?...hahaha...Injecting a bit of humor here folks...:))
At the lobby while waiting for our respective 'rides' to come, we said our goodbyes to the lawyer and thanked him for his services. My ex turned towards me to ask who was picking me up and how I had been and I replied with a smile. (Remember, the smile is important to hide all the other feelings inside, whether good or bad.)
I followed him down the stairs slowly and waited for the cars to arrive. He had to be helped in again and seated comfortably. I waved goodbye to the children and I guess he waved at me too from behind the tinted windows of the Velfire. I smiled and nodded in return and made my way to my ride behind.
I bear no grudges nor do I bear any hard feelings for what had happened. The past is the past and should be left well alone. Everything happens for a reason and only Allah knows why. It is also unfortunate that my ex suffered a stroke after we had parted otherwise, I would be the one to look after him and his every needs. As it is now, he only has the children, maids and his trusted valet to assist him. Though it still makes me sad to think of the situation he is in and of my inability to offer my assistance, I know deep in my heart that he is in good hands and well taken care of.
I pray to Allah to give him patience, perseverance, strength, hope and will to fight, to recover as soon as he possibly can. Amin.

p.s. And again, as in my previous note, I apologise for any spelling or grammatical mistakes. I am only human after all...haha