Dianara's Reflections...

Try as I may and try as I might, it's not easy at times to forgive people what they have done to me. The severity of the action and deed is just too much to bear and to be forgiven...especially when it's done by your own kin. If it's by others, I don't think I will be bothered too much for they are no ties that bind. It's been 3 years now...and it's still difficult for me to forget as well what had happened and the ensuing 'events', as how I will put it. I was the victim but I was made to look and deemed otherwise. Tales were carried and spread here and there and people seemed to believe even though they don't know me. All because of the great 'actress' who had convincingly poisoned peoples minds into thinking negatively about me. How sad can that be? How unimaginable that a kin whom one has always helped when needed can turn 360 degrees! All the lies, dramas and masquerade could have been tailor made for a movie too! How awesome can that...

1978...Sultan Ibrahim Girls's School, Johor Baru. I was 15 years old and in Form 3 then. My dad was transferred to Kem Majidee JB from RMC in Sungai Besi. Was supposed to continue schooling in Assunta Secondary but my grandfather died at the end of 1977. I was supposed to live with him during my SRP year. Oh well, I found myself following my family down to JB instead. One day,  a school mate came up to me with a letter. It was a letter from an admirer. It was signed Hillary Ang. If I am not mistaken, I replied once only. It was a surprise for me actually. It seemed, he saw me sitting alone, at my school canteen one afternoon. He was there to assist his senior in coaching the school's hockey team. Well, I didn't know then. After that letter, I saw him again at a sporting meet at a stadium. It was the MSSD and I was in the school relay team. He was there to support his school too I guess. Anyway, that was that. At the end of the year, my dad was transferred back to KL a...

So, it has been 2 over years now that my account is still intact and I am still using the name Lady Dianara Kamil. Don't think it's gonna be deleted anymore...hopefully...haha When I first went on FB, I was still married then. Though I had my fair share of admirers, there are more now that I am divorced! I get messages sent to my Inbox with all sorts of propositions that when I think back, it was kinda funny but in a way, I felt happy, maybe, that at this age, I still had guys, younger ones too, mind you, going after me! But there must always be caution and reservations. Some of these younger guys only want to have fun but there are a few in my list who have been good friends with me and I will always treasure their friendship. One name that I would like to mention here is Hazri Mhd. He has been a true friend since day one I was on FB and I hope our friendship will remain strong for many, many more years. Thank you Hazri Mhd...*muahhhhhsssss At this point in time, I am quit...

When I first got myself 'embroiled' in FB, it was for a reason. To look up an old friend whom I knew more than 20 years ago. Well, I found that friend and we got in touch again, and that was that. I thought of deactivating my FB account after I found my friend again but by then, I had many new friends so I stayed on till the first time my account got deleted by FB.  At first, I didn't want to open a new account cause I was not so into facebooking but some friends were looking for me so I opened another account using another name. When I went back in, I went to this friend's wall after adding him again and a status he had in there really made me laugh out loud. I can't remember exactly how he wrote it but it went something like this...'Nik Yasmin Dianara Kamil ( this is the name in my first account) also known as Kak Manis, where are you?' hahaha...he was looking for me it seems cause I was nowhere to be found. With the new account, I think I used the n...

Am back on Facebook folks...2 days earlier than 1 week,  I think it was. Oh well, though I am back on FB, I still got to do what needed to be done. Went 'around' groups' walls checking on what's new...well, there were lots of new stuff but I felt lazy to go look at everything. Too many updates as well. Even found myself in a new group called Retro Music. Now that's a cool group where everyone can be a DJ and post songs from yester years. Gosh! Didn't know there were so many songs I have never even heard before! How uncool can that be huh?..haha...Oh well, at least I am learning new stuff now, on Retro Music!...LOL I am feeling kinda lazy at this moment...especially to update my FB status. Can't think of anything that could garner interesting comments from friends. Well actually, there are times when I would like to share my thoughts and ideas but putting them down in words were giving me headaches...haha.  Before I had an FB account,  I was not ...

Daddy dearest, It's 22 years ago since you've been gone daddy. 22 long years without your presence. You left a void in our lives, especially in mum's. She lost her other half that made her whole, she lost a friend whom she could share her thoughts with but most of all, she lost a loving husband who she was dependent on for so many things in her life. A man who made her feel safe, a man who protected her from harm, a man who loved her with every beat of his heart. We, your 4 daughters lost the best daddy in the world. We lost a loving and understanding daddy, a man who was so protective of us, though it was a bit cloying at times daddy...hehe. We know you meant well and didn't want any harm to come to us, but daddy, sometimes, it was good if you could just have let things be...In some ways, you did spoil us. You didn't even let us take the bus to go anywhere...I think we only knew how to take the bus when we were all in college or overseas! ...

Still feeling sick..and more ill than yesterday. Last night, thought I would watch Anugerah Juara Lagu till the end. Could only manage till the song Beribu Sesalan was sang. What a song that was. And until now, I still don't know which song won!...Oh well, will know soon enough. Had to go to Ikea though I felt like sleeping the whole day. Lucky Fairuz was still around to keep me company. We had lunch at Marche@Curve before going to Ikea. I had sirloin steak with a side of mashed potatoes while Fairuz had grilled salmon.  Went over to Ikea where we met up with Fatin Osman, her hubby and her son and we went round looking at lights for my house in Melaka. We got what we wanted and that was good. Wanted to get some other stuff too but since I was still feeling ill, kept that thought aside for when I am much better...emmmm, come to think of it, when I am much better, it'll be bad actually, cause I might not be able to stop shopping!...hehe... After Ikea, headed for the ...

Sorry folks...nothing much to update cause I have been SICK! I hate it when I feel helpless. Yes! I do feel helpless when I am sick. Can't do things that I need to. The whole day I was sleeping...but it's good in a way, I get to 'recover' all the lost sleeping time... 4th day today and I have not even felt like going back to FB...Ah haaaaa! Good or bad? Both I think. Good because I do get to do other stuff. Bad because I've sort of lost touch with what's happening 'out' there.  Oh yeah, earlier in the afternoon, I got to watch a bit of Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. I am no Harry Potter fan actually but having watched a bit it was quite interesting and kinda exciting. My hats off to J.K Rowling. She is one helluva author. Being able to write so creatively is just awesome! Would love to say more about her but still feeling lousy at the moment...haha Ohhhh, I just remembered, my FB wall will be on Timeline mode and I was given a week to do wh...

Woke up later than usual this morning, didn't feel well and the cough was getting bad too. Had phlegm...I hate it when I get those kinda coughs. Had to go to the pharmacy which I did. Lucky Fairuz was around, so he drove me. Went to Sinaran Pharmacy in Taman Tun. Got me another bottle of Bena Expectorant and some capsules to loosen the phlegm and got a Difflam throat spray for Fairuz as well. We then went for a late lunch. Headed to Fish Castle near Uptown. I ordered a bowl of kway teow soup and a mug of hot barley with fu chok...that was a nice drink. Fairuz ordered noodles as well but I can't remember what it was. He ordered the same drink too but he didn't like it. While having my lunch, I thought of taking a pic of Fish Castle to put it here in my post but as usual, I forgot. Only remembered about it later and it was too late. On the way home, I suggested to Fairuz to swing by Section 17. Wanted to get me the rojak mee that was sold under the tree beside the cend...

Went to Ikea to check out on some furniture and lighting for my house in Melaka which I am renting out. Parked the car at Curve, left it at Car's International. It needed a good and much needed wash. Walking around Ikea was a lonely affair, I was alone by the way, but I kinda liked it cause I didn't linger longer than necessary and I didn't buy anything too because if I did, it would have been a problem carrying them all the way to the car across the other side. Phewwww!!! That was a relief...hahaha Took some pictures of what I wanted to get, jotted some details in my ever trusty notebook...'don't ever leave home without it'...looked around a bit more, then proceeded to the exit. Thank goodness I didn't buy anything too, the queues at the check out counters were long! It was about 12 something when I left Ikea but I had 2 hours to spare while waiting for the car to be ready. So, what does one do at the Curve for 2 hours alone? I headed for MPH to look...

Since I am on a one week's leave of absence from Facebook, I thought I'd have a daily log of activities, starting from Day 1 till Day 7, or whatever day that's the last...haha DAY 1 - Thursday, 26th January, 2012 Started off the day as usual. Went around the condo cleaning and dusting and collecting bags of trash to be thrown down the chute. Had a shower, got dressed then went to Peekaboo at  The Curve for my customary hair wash. Lucky I went there early, otherwise I would have had to wait longer for my hair to be washed since it was their first day of reopening after the CNY celebrations and some of the staff were still on leave. After Peekaboo, I crossed over to Ikano Power Centre where the Cold Storage is to get some foodstuff. Since I already knew what I wanted to buy, it was a quick walk round the aisles with a basket in hand. Got all that I needed, then it was back to the Curve side, got the car and headed for home. At home, put all the stuff away, got myself ...

It will be 3 years this June of 2012...3 years of life as a single, divorced woman. How do I feel about it? Frankly, I am not so sure myself. I get conflicting thoughts and emotions about this. The 'what ifs', 'maybes' and what not...Oh well, let's leave the past to where it should be, the PAST... I still get asked though, if there is any chance of me getting back together with my ex...frankly speaking, I can't see that happening. A lot had been said and done and I kinda like my life now. A sense of freedom envelops me whenever I think about it. Though it may seem lonely at times, I have adapted to this situation very well indeed...for this, I am grateful to my family, friends and all loved ones for being there for me...And not forgetting Allah, who has given me strength and faith and to accept all as my fate and destiny. For only Allah knows what's best for me. Alhamdulillah. Being single now, though appealing to some people, has it's drawbacks too....

1st January, 2012... start of the new year. It's about time I started back on my blogging. Have left it for way too long. Really need to script all happenings that have occurred so I will have a sort of record  for reference. Since I missed on the last maybe 5 or 6 months or so of 2011, I do hope I am not lazy in scripting my blog for this year....yeah, hopefully...hahaha Well, the middle to last quarter of 2011 had been somewhat of a roller-coaster ride for me. There were mixed feelings and a see-saw of emotions in my life which saw me going through a rather turbulent and tumultuous season. Outwardly, I looked calm and collected but only God knows what was going on in my mind! Praise be to Allah! I still maintained my sanity and remained strong and steadfast in the face of all tests thrown in my way and I passed with flying colors. There were a lot of things that still remains uncompleted and I do hope I can get all of those things out of the way this year so I can concentra...